2013

Dear Ellella,

The year is 2013. The last time I wrote to you, you were a very naive senior in high school with giant dreams and high expectations of what your future would hold. Now, you are a 20 year old graduating college on September 14 with a career as a veterinary technician. Never would I have expected my life to turn out this way 2 years ago. Let's start from the beginning. 

The whole purpose of this blog was for an emotional outlet; someone to keep me sane during the insane moments of the "teenage years." But now that I am reading my past posts (some being rather melodramatic), I realize that the other purpose, and maybe the main one, was for my future self to read and reflect on the person I was before. Posts took me back to very difficult and emotional parts of my life, and also helped me realize how different I am today. The boys I wrote about taught me important life lessons that I might now have realized at the time because with every relationship, comes lessons. But man, those boys were just "soo high school." The posts that I have read seem as if they were written by a different person, a different me. But still very much the same in some aspects. All I know is that I am very glad I wrote those posts when my emotions were eating me alive. The words came out so raw, so real.. The kind of words that make people feel alive. I hope that in 10 or 20 or even 50 years from now, I can read the same words and feel like I am 17/18 again. 

But anyways, my life now is not what I would have imagined it to be 2 years ago. In my senior year of high school, my friends and I planned what colleges we would attend and how our lives would be, as if we had it all together. My "ideal" plan was to go to CalPoly Pomona, get my bachelor's degree in veterinary health sciences, and find a job. At the time, I honestly thought this was how my life was going to be. It seemed fool-proof after all, since I had already been accepted. But with college, comes tuition. And mine, along with my sister's $100,000 nursing school tuition, was just too much for my parents to pay. So, reality kicked in and I had to think of options. PCC was one, but it was too difficult to get any classes. I ended up finding Platt College online. I set up an interview, and got in! For 18 months, I had no life and poured myself into school while still managing to have a social life, of course. I worked with animals I never would have imagined working with and I was able to experience some pretty amazing things. I finished at the top of my class and program with all A's and 2 B's :D so I guess I'm the valedictorian. But anywho, I was hired by one of my externships and am now working as a veterinary technician. A 20 year old graduate with a career. Sounds pretty amazing, especially with the economy in this day and age. I guess you can say I'm blessed. And thank God for everything, because even though my "ideal" plan didn't work out, a better one did. 

My family and friends are still my world. My BAMF girls are my everything. My dogs Olivia & Momo are my life. Herkules passed away in the summer after my high school graduation, and Buddie followed 3 weeks after from depression and acute renal disease. And with their passing, a piece of my soul died. Buddie, the other half of my heart, took his half with him. One day, it will be whole again. The months after their passing, especially Buddie's, were literally the worst days of my life. I was so depressed and felt like I was going to die. But my friends and family and God got me through it. I still miss them to this day, and I probably always will, but they will always be with me in my heart.

Although "real life" is not as fine and dandy as you would have imagined it to be in hs, mine is pretty damn good. Sure I have my bad days, but who doesn't? Once I pass my board exams, I would like to work at a regular vet clinic as an RVT and eventually move out. No matter what life throws at me, I know that I am where I am in life because that is exactly where God wants me to be. And I'm happy. Whatever happens, happens. You just gotta roll with the punches. 


Come What May.


Sincerely,
Ellella